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My Favorite Things
Bill Clinton Version
(sung to the melody of My Favorite Things)
"Blow jobs and land deals in backwater places,
Big Macs and french fries and girls with big faces,
Lots of nice cleavage that makes willie spring,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Susan McDougal and Gennifer Flowers,
Horny young interns who wile 'way the hours,
Profits from futures that Hillary brings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Beating the draft board and getting elected,
Naming to judgeships some hacks I've selected,
Conspiracy theories that blame the right wing,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Golfing with Vernon and suborning perjury,
Falling down drunk that required knee surgery,
Stars in the White House who come here to sing,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Meeting with Boris and Helmut and Tony,
States of the Union with lots of baloney,
Winning debates and the joy of my flings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When Ms. Jones bites,
When Ken Starr stings,
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Buying elections with money from China,
Putting my hands on Lewinski's vagina,
Selling our secrets so Wong never sings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Taking my family and friends on vacation,
Disguised as state visits from nation to nation,
Great photo ops of the wall in Beijing,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the tapes run,
When I'm Tripped up,
And I'm feeling sad.
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad."
Ahhh...the things that arrive unbidden in my email. Some are totally useless; some are scary; some are highly entertaining. This text has recently "made the rounds." I enjoyed it and hope you did too.
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